Self-employment

One of the things about being self-employed is that...you, yourself, get to do the work.  No minions.  Just you.  If you don't do it, it doesn't get done.

One of the things that I, personally, have to deal with, constantly, is a tyrant of an Inner Critic.  She constantly casts doubt in my garden of ideas.  "That isn't good enough."  "No one will buy this,."  "No one will pay that much for this thing."

For 66 years and counting I have been doing battle with this tyrant.  So far she has not actually prevented me from doing what I want to do,.  But wow, can it get tiring!

The worst thing, I think, is that the more I listen to her, the more I procrastinate, the more I doubt myself, the less I tackle the hard jobs.  Like writing.

The first edits (of the latest version of the manuscript) are beginning to come in.  And, in spite of it looking promising, and the kind words of those who have responded (because it takes a Peanut Gallery to quell the tyrannical Inner Critic), I sit here, the edits quietly, patiently, waiting for me to open the file and get 'er done.

The other things about being self-employed is that there is always a list of Stuff That Needs To Be Done.  So ignoring the 'hard' job (writing) becomes easier.  "Oh, I'll just do this 'easy' job, then I'll do the 'hard' job."  Ya, right.

And so the days go by and the hard job gets harder and harder to do.

Which is why I have to love the deadlines.  I have a deadline by which time I really want/need to have this round of edits done.  And it looms.  Relentlessly, the days go by and that deadline gets closer.  So today, right now (as soon as I hit Send and Share) I will open the Word file and get back to the edits.

The few days between starting and today, this minute, have let me cogitate on some of the edits and make a decision about them.  And so I will plough on. 

Because the hard jobs also need to get done.

Currently reading Dead Ground in Between by Maureen Jennings